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June 06 2017

14:25

pochowek:

me realizing you have NO fate and NO chi energy: So… no chi? No sadame?

14:02

me as an Ancient Greek

hiphopocliedes:

memeufacturing:

me: hey Poseidon whats with the pitchfork huh???? There’s a lot of hay to stack in the ocean huh??? fucking loser
me: *gets killed by a tsunami*

- Odysseus

14:01
0895 bc3f

twitchytyrant:

I can’t believe he killed Harrison Ford twice

13:55

stimpoweredgiraffe:

as a child i thought constantly about an alternate reality where Remus killed Romulus and founded Reme and we all studied The Ancient Remens and the Remen Empire and the Greco-Remen Gods an people said “When in Reme…” and “Reme wasnt built in a day”

like i just though a lot about that but no one else ever brought it up

01:53

divawithanunspoiledagenda:

gaycatdotcom:

I Must Crack Open a Cold One, But I Have No Boys.

You Require the Milkshake

01:45

cryptozoological:

yo I’m all about supporting girls wearing whatever the fuck they want and booty shorts are a-ok in my book but I also think it’s important to realize that this is also one of the only clothing options given to young girls when it comes to summer wear. if you’re shopping in clothing stores or sections targeted at teenage girls it’s nearly impossible to find anything in-between booty shorts and knee-length capris. like booty shorts are literally the only shorts marketed to us and I think that speaks a lot more about the hypersexualization of young girls by our society/the clothing industry than it does about the actual kids wearing them tbh

01:25

coolhotdad:

my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy’s store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my “fake” purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can’t clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy’s and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they’re all fakes.

01:22
0943 3bab 500

jakegyllonhaal:

which jacob are you today???

01:17
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anoracleofwar:

bellygangstaboo:

“Black Lives Matter is a terrorist group! For protesting!” “The Klan *literally* used to bomb black churches. For fun.

If I am remembering correctly, the Klan and law enforcement have a very entwined history and relationship to the point that you can’t be in the upper ranks in some places without being Klan or part of some other White Power hate group.

So it does not surprise me and it disgusts me even more and I fear for my baby sibling- that they will either end up taking the fall for that shit or worse, become it.

00:33
0971 6f43 500
00:33
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swarnpert:

anal eyes analyze anal lies

00:29
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kaboozleskaboodle:

toughset:

haha-posts-blog-blog-blog-blog:

HOW DO YOU FUCK UP THIS BAD

THE LID IS IN THE ROOF

I don’t think I’v ever quite witnessed the resulting damage, but this?

This is what happens when you open a pressure cooker before fully depressurizing it.

00:16
1023 1fae

leviathan-supersystem:

clayorey:

Wonder what happened to the dinosaurs? This is a baby Blue Heron.

this baby Blue Heron killed the dinosaurs.

00:14
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barelyfittingin:

black-to-the-bones:

Ramad Chatman, a 24-year-old man was found not guilty by a jury of his peers but will serve seven years in prison. That’s American Justice for black people. He was wrongfully convicted of breaking and entering for stealing a television worth $120. It was his first offense , but he  was sentenced to five years’ probation,because…you know why. Later, he was a suspect in a convenience store robbery in 2014 and he didn’t even know about it. Never was arrested for that. In 2015 he found out that he was accused of a crime he did not commit and decided to go to the police to explain everything, but he ended up in jail. WHILE THERE WAS NO EVIDENCE HE DID ANYTHING. 

So Chatman went to trial. Jury found him not guilty, but it seems like the judge really wanted him in jail… Judge revoked Chatman’s probation and sent him to jail. Now Chatman must sit in prison until 2022.

He is a victim, not a criminal.

Wooooooooow smfh

00:11

papatulus:

brainstatic:

Examples of problematic tumblr activity timeline:

2013: Defending sexism in a bad TV show
2015: Using the bones of the dead to make potions
2017: Literally owning a child slave

place your bets for 2019 im thinking cannibalism

June 05 2017

21:59

daily-showerthoughts:

After 20 years of adulting, I wouldn’t mind having a purpose as well defined and easily executable as “You pass butter.”.

21:59

nintendette:

Pregat = fertile
Pragnet = 1-3 months
Pregnart = 4-5 months
Pregonate = 6-7 months
Pregánte = 8-9 months
Pregananant = overdue

21:47
1074 c9b9

syntaxtree:

mairzydotes:

bagelcollector:

madness-and-gods:

NO 😂

I’m George RR Martin 

growing up in maine us writers were of course always comparing ourselves to stephen king.  TURNS OUT HE’S FUCKING WRITER GEORG

“average writer writes 3 books a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person writes 1 book per year. Steven King, who lives in cave & writes over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

21:39
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autumn-heights:

the mario 64 dev team’s reaction to having to remove Luigi from the game is the most emotionally touching thing i’ve read all day

21:33
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femfreq:

Yup.

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